Friday, May 1, 2009

Let down.

Last night my little brother broke my heart.

"I just can't take it that he died a very sad person. I just wished I could have helped him and told him that people did care so much about him, including me. I had plans to take him to do everything he wanted to trips and traveling, when I got the money. But I never even told him that. I couldn't because he was never sober for a fucking second and I couldn't be around him because it tore me up. Mom called him and told him I was worried sick about him and he was thrilled that I even cared. When his electricity got shut off, Jessica, the house was so scary because he blocked off every room and slept in the living room next to the gas fireplace to keep warm. Damn it. I can't stop crying now. I don't know. I just wanted to take him on real fishing trips and all those places he wanted to go. I just wanted to get rich so he wouldn't have to worry about a thing. I always said I wanted to make him happy before I made myself happy despite the way he treated me. He still deserved the best."

If I lose faith in this world, I hope it doesn't come as a surprise.

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