Last night was the best I've felt all summer, maybe. Amanda Martin is an angel. Jasdave is the funniest prince I've ever met in my life. Hands down. Ever. I may have met my tall dream babe...Travis. He flicked pennies at nerd heads and reached out to pet a cat while being mobbed by drunk guys. Well.... I hate everyone but I really liked them.

We can take this weekend, drive out past city limits, keep on driving just as far as we can go. And we can take this weekend, and make it last forever, deal the shackles of our lives a breaking blow. Because to run away is victory, a tank of gas is freedom, and a starry night and open road is hope. We can take my fast car, or maybe just close our eyes, and when we open them the world we want can be the world we know.

One month, I'm gone.

I'm a hoss, but yo. Can it get hot enough to be at the beach yet? I need it, right now, every morning, running into Johnny's room and scrambling out the door with sleepy eyed friends, towels, clown sized sunglasses, bags of food that will clog our hearts, pop punk singalongs the whole way there. 

Come on summer, I am waaaaaiting to swim in you...

Last night felt unbelievably great. New Found Glory. Everyone I love surrounding me singing our guts out. Tymm's life is seriously becoming unreal. I'm so proud of him and excited for everything his band is looking forward to. Bummer that it means he'll be gone much more, but it's just a small price to pay for all the good things coming his way...

So happy to get the fuck out of this house and into a tiny apartment with my best friend in downtown Ann Arbor. Back to my ice cream shop, back to where I feel comfortable in my own skin. I've got a million things on my mind, but I feel alright. Cast my worries to the side, focus only when I get the time. I will get there safely. I feel so lucky to have the few perfect friends that I do. I've got big plans with them for this season. Summer is here...I can feel all the beach days right around the corner. I will LIVE in a lake this summer. I am anchorless.

For sanity's sake, I wish my dad could leave my mind for at least a few moments a day. I literally spend all of my time thinking about him. Just wondering if things could've been different. I listen to "Anchorless" by the Weakerthans at least twice a day and the water balloons behind my eyelids pop.

"They called here to tell me that your're finally dying, through a veil of childish cries. Southern Manitoba prairie's pulling at the pant leg of your bad disguise. So why were you so anchorless? Shoebox full of photos; found a grainy mirror. Sunken cheeks and slender hands. Grocery lists and carbon-copied letters offer silence for my small demands. Hey how'd you get so anchorless? Got an armchair from your family home. Got your P.G. Wodehouse novels, and your telephone. Got your plates and stainless steel. Got that way of never saying what you really feel: so anchorless. A boat abandoned in some backyard. Anchorless in the small town that you lived and died in."