salad days

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

I'm not the same anymore. I am looking up. No more "nostalgia forever." There are mountains ahead, fuck the mountains behind. For once, I feel challenged by the people I surround myself with. This is beautiful. You're bringing out the best in me. The long talks I wouldn't trade for the world, where when they're over, my ears are ringing and my eyelids are swollen with salt water creeping over the edges and I feel NEW. Or awake. Or both? I miss when you were afraid to be mean to me, when I didn't even know how to say your last name. I recognize now, though, that the truth is, everyone will hurt you. Gotta decide who's worth the pain. I'm still figuring this out.

Still young, still fucking up. I'll get this right one of these days. Sailin' on...